Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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