She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
