ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
