Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
