so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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