Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
