i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are we still banned from the library?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
