there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize