four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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