Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
