i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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