Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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