how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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