you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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