Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize