My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
