I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
