normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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