Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
