that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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