then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize