she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
