What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
