In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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