addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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