Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

Fav 9 7131 1208
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

How's work?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Spinning.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

Fav 6 2924 1052
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(256): View more from Alabama

I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

Fav 4 799 1394
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(512): View more from Texas

Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

(210): View more from Texas

No

Fav 4 2316 847
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(206): View more from Washington

Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.

Fav 12 938 1924
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(559): View more from California

Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.

Fav 0 46 10
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(239): View more from Florida

No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.

Fav 0 14 47
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