There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
