no. you can't hotbox the world.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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