i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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