Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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