Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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