Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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