I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
