Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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