I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize