I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize