stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
