Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
