glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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