WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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