Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
