Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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