I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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