I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your cock deserves a montage
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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