what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
