smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
