I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wear drunk well.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
