the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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