i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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