Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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