I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
