Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
