and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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