Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
