I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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