like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Brb crying the tears of my youth
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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