Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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