Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize