we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Say something about gay babies.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
