Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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