I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
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And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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