I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
