You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
