i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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