I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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