Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
