2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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