well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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