he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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